Get Johnny!
by Farai V1
Summary: Remember the 'Get Stinky' episode, where Johnny's childhood friend/nemesis, Stinky Brownstein, came back to town? Remember when she pantsed him on their last date? You do? Great! Then you've got to read this! Johnny/Stinky main pairing.


**_This is simply just a what-if fan fic. Recalling my youth, Johnny Bravo provided the laughs and fun in a cartoon. I would always look forward to seeing what stupid things the blond guy would do, and how will he fail miserably with the ladies this time. The show was pretty childish (with a bit of adult innuendo) and never stopped bringing a smile to my face. I just had this inspiration from out of nowhere. I just thought to myself, "Wow, Johnny is probably one of the sorriest protagonists I have ever seen. Will this guy ever get break?! Well, provided he grew up a little." And I thought to the many gals that were in his life, and none of them became his actual girlfriend? Come on, Johnny, you're giving guys a bad name, dude._**

 ** _Like many of my other fics, this story is simple done out of pleasure. Don't take offense to it! No, seriously._**

 ** _Another thing, there might be a gender bender chapter later on. Just a little heads up for readers who've actually seen Johnny as a girl._**

 ** _I don't own Johnny Bravo or make a profit writing this fic. Not like anyone bothers looking in this fandom anyway._**

 ** _So, in the words of the egotistical blond knucklehead, do the Monkey with me!_**

* * *

Johnny Bravo, self-certified chick magnet, snored piercingly throughout his bedroom. The sun outside was bright and warm; the birds chirped with wondrous excitement. The day seemed like a good one for the blond bodybuilder.

"Johnny! Breakfast is ready!" Bunny yelled downstairs.

At the mention of food, Johnny bolted from his bed (with quick action-pack poses) and rushed to his bathroom. He almost whooshed passed his mirror, but luckily, he skidded to a complete stop before taking any damage from the tiled wall.

"Hey there, good looking. Where have you been all my life?" Johnny queried his reflection.

He quickly unsheathed his trusted hair jell from a random location.

"He! Ha! Hu!" Johnny yelled, applying the hair jell with an exaggerated amount of exertion. His hair had no split ends to begin with, but Johnny had to be sure; if not, then Squid Ringo would be extremely disappointed in him.

At least, that's what _he_ thought.

Most wandered what was behind Johnny Bravo's sunglasses. They wondered whether his eyes were brown, blue or green…or maybe even hazel?

Well, in any case, Johnny never left his trusted shades. They'd become a part of his life. Heck, even his mother could barely remember the last time she stared into his eyes.

Once finished with his morning regime, Johnny rushed downstairs with speeds rivalling a sonic jet.

"Johnny!"

"Coming, Mama!"

Johnny entered the dining room, happy that his mother had made his favourite: bacon and eggs.

He sat down on his usual seat and began to chow down.

"Mmm!" he hummed jovially, enjoying the wonderful taste.

Bunny watched her son with loving eyes. She'd been with him ever since he was born. He'd lived with her all his life. Nothing had ever changed between them. Nothing had ever changed with Johnny himself. No, she was wrong with the latter. When he was young, Johnny used to be a shy and insecure child. He had a hard time making friends or even talking to girls. But Bunny could never forget when she noticed his shift in behaviour, focusing most of his energy on developing his physic and creating pick-up lines.

She had been confused with Johnny's sudden boisterous attitude, but as a mother, she welcomed it with open arms. Seeing him chase after women reiterated to Bunny that Johnny was growing into a healthy man; a man that needed a female companion. She was his mother. She could only hold his hand for so long.

The years passed in a flash, and now she was starting to notice how old she was becoming. She wasn't _that_ old (she was approaching 48 in a few weeks). But that acknowledgement was enough to remind her that her son was getting older, too. He was 24 now, and although Bunny tried not to think too much about it, it was starting bug her more with each passing day.

She had seen a number of women in her son's life, but none of them really stayed long. Some were very vague to picture, like the secret agent woman Johnny talked animatedly about, or the vampire girl, or the werewolf. From what she could tell, her son had no shortage of female attraction, but the problem was that they all seemed to be temporary.

Like she thought earlier, she was getting old. It would have been something she could easily take in stride, but she was beginning to get worried.

Grandkids… How could she be a hundred percent sure that she would get any? She wanted to have them. She wanted to baby them. She wanted Johnny to be with a woman that would be his better half; someone who could make him stronger and more reliable as a man. So far, that hardly seemed likely.

Every once in a while, she would think very deeply about Johnny and his future. He had no job, no aspiring goals but to go after women. How could she be certain that he would be alright when she was gone?

Her smile turned sad, and for just a moment, she prayed that something could solve this rising issue…

And then she remembered something… something very important.

"Oh! I forgot to mention, Johnny. We're having a visitor today!" Bunny announced excitedly.

"Aw, Mama, I don't wanna sit around with those old people again," Johnny sulked.

Bunny gave him a big smile, her glasses hiding anything in her eyes. "Don't worry, sweetie, it's someone special today."

Johnny froze. He looked up at his mother, frowning in uncertainty. "It's not a guy, is it?"

"Nope," was the giddy response.

"A girl?"

"Yep."

"… Little Neighbourhood Girl?"

"No, Johnny. Suzie isn't coming today. She's gone camping."

"… Carl?"

Bunny gave her son an impish look. "Carl isn't a girl, Johnny."

"You sure?" Johnny snickered, then burst out laughing.

"Johnny Bravo! That's not something you say about your friends!"

"Sorry, Mama."

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"That must be her now. Go get the door, sweetie."

"Why do I have to?" Johnny whined, not liking opening for an old hag.

All Bunny needed to do was give him a look and Johnny was off.

Johnny begrudgingly walked to the front door. He just wanted to get this over with. He swung the door open, prepared for cheek pinching and baby talk.

What he didn't expect was the sight of long smooth legs, an hourglass figure in a white cocktail dress and bright, straight, red hair that was shoulder-length long. Her eyes were also striking, her face round and her plump, pink lips irresistibly kissable.

Johnny had met a lot of women in his past. They all had their charm and were hot to boot. But the woman in front of him transcended that. She wasn't hot – she was absolutely _beautiful_.

Johnny didn't hesitate. He quickly went into _babe-magnet_ mode, striking ridiculous poses that would have scarred even the nicest of woman. How he never learned to stop his antics will never be known.

"Hey there, redheaded baby, how bout you and me go up to my room and talk about me. Or if you don't want that, we can talk about me now," Jonny said, flexing his pecks and muscles.

He'd done the same routine for years. He'd taken beatings any normal man would have sworn off women forever from. He was probably the only man in the world that had literally been rejected by more than a million women. In getting used to that, his body had developed instincts to expect pain in these moments. His body was already prepared for harsh rebuff, but was instead put off with a joyous giggle.

Johnny just stared as the girl put her thumb near her mouth and giggled at his pick-up line. That wasn't good. He wasn't used to these rare moments when a woman didn't slam him to the ground and call him a pig. The rarity of women that laughed at his lines were usually mocking, thinking that he was pathetic and not even worth rejecting and walk away. _But_ , there was something different about this particular woman. Her titter seemed genuinely innocent. It didn't _sound_ like she was mocking him and made it worse by giving him a beaming smile.

"Hey, Johnny. It's been what, a year now? You haven't changed at all."

Johnny didn't know how to react. Firstly, she knew his name and they had supposedly seen each other a year ago – meaning she knew him on a personal level. Secondly, he had no freaking clue who she was…

Wait a minute.

He took a good look at her then. Her face looked spookily familiar. He couldn't tell why he was suddenly feeling so nervous, and why his body was screaming at him to run for his life.

"There you are, Stinky! How have you been?" Bunny asked, emerging from the dining room.

Stinky's eyes brightened at the sight of the older Bravo. "Hi, Mama Bravo. I've been fantastic and thanks for accepting my invite!"

In the background, Johnny couldn't believe it. Sure he saw Stinky last year, but she had never looked this… Oh wait.

"Stinky Brownstein?! HAAAAAAAAAAA!" Johnny yelled, running for his life and hiding behind his living room couch.

Bunny and Stinky stared at Johnny, bewildered by his behaviour.

"Johnny, are you okay?" Stinky asked, her alluring face dawning a frown.

Johnny wasn't deceived by her beauty. To him, she was the same bully that tormented his childhood. His body shook as he pointed an accusatory finger at the woman. "Mama, what the heck is _she_ doing here?!"

"Oh come now, Johnny, not this again. You reacted the same way a year ago," Bunny moaned, shaking her head.

Stinky flinched at his comment. "Ouch. Johnny, I do have feelings, you know?"

"I'm not falling for that cutesiness again! I'm on to you!"

"Johnny, stop being rude! Stinky and I are going to talk in the dining room. When you get some manners, you can join us!"

"No! Mama, she's tricking you!"

Bunny led Stinky away. Stinky was a bit apprehensive in leaving Johnny alone, but she didn't argue.

Johnny sat behind the couch, trying very hard to think of a way to escape the house. It never crossed his mind that he could just simply walk out the front door.

Bunny and Stinky were seated in the dining room. And Mama Bravo was too excited to keep silent.

"It's good to see you're doing well for yourself, dear. Just look at you!"

She wasn't kidding. Stinky literally looked like one of the models you'd see in a magazine or beauty pageant. If it wasn't for the fact that she was expecting the redhead, Bunny would have a difficult time recognising her.

Stinky smiled bashfully, blushing at the praise. "Thanks, Mama Bravo. I'm very flattered."

"Just wait a second while I make something for you. You must be so hungry!"

Stinky waved her hands dismissively. "No, no, it's fine. I'm not hungry at all, Mama. I just wanted to come by and see you again."

"Only me?" Bunny asked, raising a sceptical brow.

Stinky picked up on her tone and laughed lightly. "Johnny, too, okay?"

Bunny nodded in satisfaction. "So tell me about yourself. We have so much to catch up on…"

* * *

Johnny was still trying to figure out how on Earth he could get out of this situation. Stinky Brownstein, his nemesis, was just a room away.

Why was this happening to him again? Why did fate feel like mocking his obsession with girls? It wasn't fair. Why couldn't Stinky be hideous?

Even so, he wasn't going to be fooled. The first time she came around, Stinky acted all lovey-dovey with him. She acted like she really wanted a serious relationship. When they went on a date, her visage was that of a kind and doting girlfriend. But it had all been a lie, a lure to prank him, and he fell for it, badly.

Now he knew. Whatever she said, whatever she asked, there was definitely an ulterior motive. Fool him once, shame on you, but fool him twice? Well actually, you never knew with Johnny.

* * *

"…and just two months ago, I took a business trip to South Africa. It was pretty interesting," Stinky said.

Bunny had only been half-listening to Stinky as she reiterated her adventures. She was half-listening because she couldn't stop looking at the redhead. Stinky was outspoken, mannered and knew how to dress. Her figure and poise was to die for, and her sparkling brown eyes were perfect.

Perfect. She was absolutely perfect. Bunny couldn't think of anyone else that she wanted to be a part of the Bravo family. By that, her intentions were pretty obvious.

"It was a surprise how it wasn't like anything advertised. It's pretty developed," Stinky continued on. She stopped talking further when she noticed that Mrs. Bravo had been staring at her for far too long without saying anything. Honestly, it made her a bit nervous.

As soon as she noticed Stinky getting anxious, Bunny quickly went into actions. "That's very nice to hear, dear. I'm glad that your year has been pretty productive."

Stinky grinned, showing her whites. "Thanks, Mama Bravo. What have you been up to, though?"

"Oh this and that – nothing special." Being a secret agent/super heroine/world operative had its disadvantages. How do you even begin to explain all that?

"Aw, but I want to hear it."

"Maybe another time, sweetie. How bout we get down to the real issue here, hm?"

Stinky twitched, her smile wavering a bit. "Oh, right. Uhhm…Look, Mama Bravo."

"It's okay, dear, I won't tell anyone."

"Especially not Johnny?" Stinky quipped, desperation in her eyes.

"Of course not! We'll keep it just between us girls, okay?"

Stinky visibly relaxed. "Thank you, Mama Bravo. You've always been so nice to me, even when I was a kid."

"Why wouldn't I be? You've been Johnny's friend ever since kindergarten."

Stinky flinched. "Yeah…some friend, huh?"

Bunny raised an eyebrow. She already knew what Stinky was on about, but decided to spare the girl any embarrassment.

"How has he been? Has he found a…g-girlfriend yet?" The last part was spoken in hesitancy, and something akin to dread.

Bunny smiled. "I would have told you before you sent me an invite, Stinky. Johnny is single and free."

Bunny's smile broadened when she noticed the way Stinky took the news quite positively.

"Oh…It figures. He doesn't seem like the datable type anyway," Stinky joked, but wished she never had.

Bunny had somewhat of a dark look on her face. It took years of knowing the sunglass woman for Stinky to pick up when she was upset.

"Don't misunderstand what I said, Stinky. Even though Johnny doesn't have a girlfriend now, doesn't mean he didn't have one before. In fact, the year you haven't been around, Johnny went out with more girls than I can count."

Stinky clapped her hands together and bowed her head, trying desperately to qualm any rising awkwardness. "I'm sorry, Mama Bravo! I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit! I never meant it!"

"Shh!" Bunny said quickly, looking at the entrance and hoping Johnny wasn't listening. "You don't have to shout. I get that it was a joke, but please refrain from insulting my son in front of me."

"Okay…I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous and I don't know how to calm down any other way…"

Bunny sighed. "Youth. But it's fine. I've loved you like my own child since your childhood. I could never hate you for little tidbits like that. You were a good person then and that doesn't seem to have changed. I trust you."

Stinky grimaced, looking down. "It's hard, you know? Finding someone you can really trust. In pre-school, all the girls used to tease me. They called me ugly or a malfunction. The guys would steal my stuff. I hated it. I hated wearing braces. I hated how my freckles made me look sick. I just hated everything about myself. My parents weren't much of a help. They were too busy fighting each other to focus on me."

Bunny could remember that period pretty well. Whenever she'd come to fetch Johnny from school, there'd be a little girl, sitting alone on the swings. Even on special events that involved parents, Stinky had been alone. It had been for two months that Bunny had watched on – wondering if the girl was having trouble at home; wondering if the girl just preferred to be lonely; wondering if the girl's sad face would always remain the same. She felt guilty, but continued to watch on, not doing anything, not really having the drive to initiate something. It would have continued on if it wasn't for Johnny.

Stinky gave a brighter smiled. "Then Johnny came along. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was snowing pretty heavily. The weather forecast got it wrong, so I wore less items than I should have. I just sat at the swing, cold, shivering, feeling absolutely depressed. My parents got into a fight and Mom left the house. I couldn't even cry then. I was just used to the pain. So I just sat there waiting for Dad to pick me…"

Bunny could Stinky was having hard time recalling her past. She offered a comforting hand on the woman's shoulder.

Stinky gave her a grateful smile, continuing, "Johnny was a few feet away from me. Out of the whole class, he never bullied me, maybe because he had his own bully issues. Even to this day, I don't know why he did it, but the moment he saw me, he walked up to me and gave me his jacket. He was pretty shy then, so he never looked at me. I wore it, and it felt so warm…and smelled really good."

Stinky paused, blushing at the admission.

Bunny only smiled and coaxed her to continue.

"When you came to pick him, I thought he'd take his jacket and leave me there. I had already developed a tendency of not expecting much from people. He ran to you, said some stuff I couldn't hear and I got worried that I might get in trouble. But you just looked at me, smiled and waited in your car. Jonny stood next to me and waited till my Dad came to fetch me. But he ran off before I could say anything… He left his jacket with me. From then on…"

"You had a crush on him." Bunny finished.

She recalled taking time to invite Stinky to outings with her and Johnny. Stinky had been apprehensive at first, but quickly adjusted to Bunny's affection. It was then that the older Bravo noticed Stinky's infatuation with Johnny. And the more the young kids played together, the clearer Stinky's crush became. That was the only reason Bunny allowed the pranks on Johnny, because she knew it was Stinky's way of telling Johnny that she liked him a lot. Of course, Johnny was a boy. He couldn't have hoped to pick up the signals. To him, Stinky was just a bully, nothing more.

Stinky gave her a wounded look. "Was I that obvious?"

"To Johnny, no. But your pranks made it pretty clear to me that you liked my son."

Stinky breathed in and out. "…Johnny was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't be here, like this, if it wasn't for him."

"That's why you said that you're dating Johnny Bravo on your Facebook profile? Since not many people know Johnny from your circle, they didn't think too much about it, right?"

Stinky blanched, then glared accusingly at Bunny. "You know, I'm surprised you found that. It makes me feel like you were stalking me."

Bunny gave a mysterious smile. "Nothing like that, dear. I was checking up on you to see how you're doing."

"On Facebook of all places?"

"I heard it was the best place to find someone, since we never exchanged contact details," Bunny defended easily.

"Still, I'm a bit suspicious. Anyway, I had so many guys ask me out. And my girlfriends wouldn't stop pestering me on the dating scene. Make no mistake, Mama, I've dated many guys, and they all turned out to be sleaze-balls, only looking out for themselves. I had enough of them, and the only person I could think of that liked me for myself was Johnny…so, yeah."

"Do you still like him now?"

"…Don't make me say it please; I don't know if he's listening or not."

"Fare enough, but at least tell me why?"

"Why what, Mama Bravo?"

"Why you're smitten, even after all these years?"

"I just am. He just…does it for me. Even if he can be a little slow, he's pretty honest and reliable."

"But you did date him last year, right? What happened there?"

Stinky sighed. "It was my fault. I was truly, truly an idiot. I ruined everything."

"Whoa, no need to be so harsh on yourself. My son isn't exactly perfect either. Count to think of it, did you like him that time?"

"I did, I just didn't realise it in time. When I saw Johnny last year, my heart skipped a beat I started warming up. I was confused with myself, because it'd been years. I had planned to prank him again. I was pretty used to guys just going with the flow and doing whatever I said. I knew I was hot, and I thought that was all guys cared about. I had a pretty bad impression of men and I thought since Johnny was a man now, then he'd probably only care for my looks, too. Boy was I wrong."

"Wait, go back a bit, you didn't like men?"

"It's not that I didn't like them. It's just that they only ever looked at the surface. Before I changed, they never gave me a glance or any sort of attention. Late in high school, that's when they really started coming after me. I had changed a lot from the ugly child I used to be. I knew it, they knew it. I knew I was better looking and I thought that was enough to find a good guy. I wasn't used to guys then, so I easily fell for whatever crap they would pull to get me…ahem…interested in them. The more I saw their change in tune about me, the more disgusted a became when I realised they didn't really care at all."

Bunny massaged her chin. "Oh my, that does sound terrible. You young ones always complicate relationships for no reason at all."

"And it doesn't stop there. A guy that I went to middle school with before confessed to me, and when I asked what was it that he liked about me, he said he liked how kind I was. Kind? Me? The girl that likes pranking people? And he was one of the people that made fun of me! And then when I asked what else, he said it was because I was beautiful. That ticked me off so much. Where were those compliments when I was suffering? Where were they when I was called ugly? Johnny _never_ made fun of me."

"How does Johnny fit into that picture?" Bunny was so invested in the story. She wasn't focusing on anything else.

"Well…I remember asking him one time when we were kids if he thought I was ugly. He said that I looked fine to him. Maybe to him it didn't mean much, but to me, it meant the world. It doesn't matter if I'm dating anyone, I never stop thinking about him."

"Okay, back to the date you two had, then."

"My, you're awfully curious, Mama Bravo," Stinky teased.

"And you're in love with my s-"

Stinky hastily shushed her, her eyes pleading.

"Okay, okay, so carry on."

"Well, the date was meant to be a prank from the beginning. But the more I got into it, the less I wanted it to be fake. Johnny acts like a doofus, but he's an incredibly sweet guy. All my relationships ended in failure, and for a brief moment, I pictured me and Johnny parting ways the same. I got scared. I could see he was starting to actually get into the date and that freaked me out. I didn't want to lose him that way. I didn't want to create a relationship and then end it badly. He's been my source of strength in tough times, and I didn't want a relationship to ruin what he meant to me. So I pranked him in the end, pantsed him in front of a crowd – rubbed it in his face even… and I've been regretting it ever since."

"You poor dear. So now what are you going to do?"

"…I was hoping nothing?"

Bunny gave her a disapproving frown. "Really, nothing? So for over a year – no, even longer than that – you've been obsessing over him and even when I invite you here, you tell me your honest feelings, and you're not going to do anything?"

"…"

"What if someone snatches him from right under your nose? Are you telling me that you'll be fine with that?"

Stinky looked away, a pained expression on her face. "What kind of woman would be okay with that? But what can I do now? I had my chance, a good one at that, and messed it up."

"That's why we have second chances, Stinky! You can't just wait and hope somehow, someday you and Johnny might end up together or that Johnny will be single forever. If you want my son that badly, you have to be prepared to work for it."

Stinky gave off a weary sigh. "I thought it was the guy's job to work for it."

"Relationships aren't straight forward. There's no manual on the right and wrong ways to begin them. Just do what you think you have to."

"Yes, Mama Bravo," Stinky said, sounding like a child begrudgingly agreeing with her parent.

Bunny smiled beautifully. "I have to know. What do you like about him so much?"

Stinky didn't hesitate. "The moment he knows it's me he treats me like he used to. He doesn't pretend or try to deceive me like most guys would. In his own way, Johnny is honest, especially concerning me, and I love that about him…although he can go a bit overboard."

"His honesty, huh? Not his looks?"

"I don't care what he looks like. To someone like me, looks don't matter. I know from personal experience that it's the inside that counts – the person's character. He can be hideous in the eyes of everyone else. To me, he's someone I'd gladly fight to keep."

"He doesn't have a job, though. And he stays with me…"

"Mama Bravo, how materialistic do you think I am? Do you think his status matters to me? Realistically, I would consider those issues, and I have. You know what, I don't care whether he's dirt poor or living with his mother. I'm in love with _him_ , not what he has."

"That's good to hear!" Bunny laughed. She couldn't help it. Stinky looked adorable when she was pouting childishly.

She stood up, patted Stinky on the shoulder. "Let me not get in the way."

She grabbed her coat. "Johnny, I'm going to shop for some groceries! I'll be back in a few minutes!"

"Take her with you, Mama! Take her with yoooooou!" was the desperate cry from the living room.

Bunny shook her head at her son's behaviour.

Stinky was a bucket of nerves herself. "You're going to leave just the two of us alone?!"

"Yep!"

"Why?!"

"Why else? So you can get Johnny of course!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Johnny cried to the heavens, having not heard any part of the conversation between his mother and Stinky except for the last bits that weren't significant (to us anyway).


End file.
